trust

A friend of mine posted the question the other day "How do you let go of the past, regain trust when there's none left, and keep moving on when you feel like you really can't?"

     Trust is such a fragile thing  that many take for granted. I remember the first time my oldest son lied to me. He didn't seem to get it at first. I then had him think about the things he wanted to do as he got older. Go to the movies with friends without an adult, hang at the mall without me following him, get his drivers license. Then I explained to him that he would not be able to do any of these activities if he didn't have my trust and I can't trust him if he lies. Trust is re-earned with time and proof. Words mean nothing compared to actions. If someone repeatedly violates your trust and doesn't give the effort to show you that they want to earn it then maybe it is time to look at how important this relationship really is. Is it toxic? Do you really want and need this person to point of them bringing negativity to your life? If it is family then it is a much more difficult decision to make.

     I have a brother who repeatedly violated my trust. From the time I was little well into my adulthood. It finally came to a point where, for my own mental health, I had to decide to let it go. He is still my brother, but the relationship is very simple. I make sure that I know how to get in contact with him in case of emergency, and he is not part of my life in any other way. It is amazing the weight that lifted when I cut the emotional ties. I let go of the past by refusing to let it into my present.

     So, my answer to my friends question was this: "You hold the past like a suitcase then put it down and leave it at the door. Trust is regained one action at a time and you move on one moment at a time and sometimes you just fake it till you make it."

     Today find some piece of your past that has been holding you back. Put it in your suitcase, put it down and walk through the door of today without it.