Today we end 2011. Looking back it was a pretty good year. We had a job, good health, good friends.
Tomorrow is a new year with new expectations. I never set one resolution. I set a different resolution each month so that I can work on what I need to improve at that time. This year I am making full year resolution in addition to my monthly resolution.
This year I resolve to take at least one picture with my camera every day. I love photography and I tend to not take time for things that I love on a regular basis. This will ensure that I do.
My monthly resolution for the month of January is to clean through my kitchen. I have a lot of new gadgets that I got for Christmas and my kitchen is a mess from the holidays. This resolution makes perfect sense for me during this month.
Setting a monthly resolution avoids the issue of getting halfway through the year and not keeping something a set myself to 6 months prior.
Have a wonderful time celebrating tonight, be safe.
Next year make it better. Love your family, love your friends, help someone in need and make time for yourself.
Live Laugh Love.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
The week before Christmas
Six days from now it will be Christmas morning. Some of my friends are finished shopping some are panicking because they have not. It is the final stretch now before the big day.
I have not quite finished but I am not panicking. I am too excited to panic. I love Christmas and all of the craziness it brings. I love the baking cookies, finding just the right gift, the decorations, the carols and cartoons. I love reminding my children of the reason we celebrate. It is the birth of Jesus, his birthday.
My Christmas has not always been this great. I grew up with a mother who suffered from undiagnosed depression. The Christmas holiday always seemed to be the worse for her. She went through the motions but there was no extra excitement. The highlight for me was that she always made cut out sugar cookies with me. The rest was up to my dad. He made the holiday great for us. We picked our tree, decorated the house, and he would take a thermos of hot cocoa to the tree lighting on the green. We always tried to find something that would make my mom happy but that gift just didn't exist.
When I moved out of the house and in with my fiancé all of that changed. We bought our first tree decorated right after Thanks giving and really celebrated for four weeks straight. It was wonderful. Christmas has been like this ever since. I love this holiday and I love that my husband has helped make it be better every year. Our children love the way we celebrate. From the tree to the nativity to the nights watching the cartoons.
We never forget that we are celebrating the birth of Christ. That is always reinforced. Today I even explained the celebration of Hanukkah to the boys. It is important that they understand that there are other holidays being celebrated this time of year.
So no matter what you are celebrating over the coming weeks I hope you are happy, creating the memories that will last in the hearts of those around you. Embrace the craziness. After all, in two weeks we will begin a new year, why not make the rest of this one great?
Give yourself the gift of letting go. Let go of negativity, let go of the past, let go of what is holding you back. Then you can take this season for all that it is and truly enjoy it.
Live Laugh Love
I have not quite finished but I am not panicking. I am too excited to panic. I love Christmas and all of the craziness it brings. I love the baking cookies, finding just the right gift, the decorations, the carols and cartoons. I love reminding my children of the reason we celebrate. It is the birth of Jesus, his birthday.
My Christmas has not always been this great. I grew up with a mother who suffered from undiagnosed depression. The Christmas holiday always seemed to be the worse for her. She went through the motions but there was no extra excitement. The highlight for me was that she always made cut out sugar cookies with me. The rest was up to my dad. He made the holiday great for us. We picked our tree, decorated the house, and he would take a thermos of hot cocoa to the tree lighting on the green. We always tried to find something that would make my mom happy but that gift just didn't exist.
When I moved out of the house and in with my fiancé all of that changed. We bought our first tree decorated right after Thanks giving and really celebrated for four weeks straight. It was wonderful. Christmas has been like this ever since. I love this holiday and I love that my husband has helped make it be better every year. Our children love the way we celebrate. From the tree to the nativity to the nights watching the cartoons.
We never forget that we are celebrating the birth of Christ. That is always reinforced. Today I even explained the celebration of Hanukkah to the boys. It is important that they understand that there are other holidays being celebrated this time of year.
So no matter what you are celebrating over the coming weeks I hope you are happy, creating the memories that will last in the hearts of those around you. Embrace the craziness. After all, in two weeks we will begin a new year, why not make the rest of this one great?
Give yourself the gift of letting go. Let go of negativity, let go of the past, let go of what is holding you back. Then you can take this season for all that it is and truly enjoy it.
Live Laugh Love
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Build your own life
You can't build a good life with someone else if you haven't first built a good life for yourself.
It amazes me every time I hear someone say how they will love their life and/or be happy when the person they love does something or changes something. Your happiness is your responsibility not someone else's. If you are waiting for someone to change you need to understand that they will change in their own time not yours. People do change but it only lasts when they are doing for their own reasons, not for someone else.
So what is a person to do? Well they are to find their own happiness. Start by being independent. Their is nothing like being on your own to find who you are and what you love about yourself. When I first went to college I chose one far from home and made sure I didn't have a boyfriend when I left. I had to make all new friends and learn to be without a guy by my side to define who I was. I grew up that first year and learned things that have carried me through some though times. I learned that if you outgrow your friends then it is okay, there are a lot of people in this world to be friends with. I also learned that I didn't need a man to support me or define me. I can make it on my own and if I have someone special in my life then it is because I want them in my life, not because I need them.
You are responsible for your own happiness. It is not someone else's job to make you happy. Find who you are and what you love. When you can find happiness on your own then you can share it with the others in your life. Happiness is contagious. People around will see that it comes from within your own heart. When they ask what is making your life so grand you will know the answer. "I am making my own life grand". Happiness is yours to find. It isn't bought in a store, it comes from within.
It amazes me every time I hear someone say how they will love their life and/or be happy when the person they love does something or changes something. Your happiness is your responsibility not someone else's. If you are waiting for someone to change you need to understand that they will change in their own time not yours. People do change but it only lasts when they are doing for their own reasons, not for someone else.
So what is a person to do? Well they are to find their own happiness. Start by being independent. Their is nothing like being on your own to find who you are and what you love about yourself. When I first went to college I chose one far from home and made sure I didn't have a boyfriend when I left. I had to make all new friends and learn to be without a guy by my side to define who I was. I grew up that first year and learned things that have carried me through some though times. I learned that if you outgrow your friends then it is okay, there are a lot of people in this world to be friends with. I also learned that I didn't need a man to support me or define me. I can make it on my own and if I have someone special in my life then it is because I want them in my life, not because I need them.
You are responsible for your own happiness. It is not someone else's job to make you happy. Find who you are and what you love. When you can find happiness on your own then you can share it with the others in your life. Happiness is contagious. People around will see that it comes from within your own heart. When they ask what is making your life so grand you will know the answer. "I am making my own life grand". Happiness is yours to find. It isn't bought in a store, it comes from within.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Holding myself back
I wanted to post a blog a day but I am finding that a bit unreasonable. This weekend was too busy to get here and post. My 10 year old son had his test for black belt on Sunday. This was a 5 hour test for him. I am so proud of him for the hard work and dedication to pursuing this that he showed. He was sick after the first 45 minutes and he didn't quit. He splashed water on his face, rinsed his mouth out and went on to finish the last 4 hours of testing. He told me that he went there to earn his black belt and he wasn't going home without it.
I wish that my oldest son had this same drive but he doesn't. He tends to start things but doesn't finish them. They are two great kids but very different children. I know that the oldest needs to break of this pattern of not finishing things. He is still young so I need to help him see why he doesn't finish things that become too challenging so he can work on changing it before it affects his future.
I fall somewhere in between. I finish what I start but I don't always follow up with what I have done. For example my schooling. I have a BA in Sociology. I used that for many years as both a counselor for troubled youth and a mental health worker in a psychiatric unit. Then I also have a certificate in health and fitness, took the real estate course to sell houses, and I am a certified paralegal. I work as an EMT. I completed these classes and did nothing with them. I don't know if I am being to picky with my job fitting around my children's schedule or if I am afraid of failing at a new job. I don't fail very often so I am not very good at it. I am often torn because I would like to go back to work full time but I need to take care of my kids after school stuff. When I would mention a full time job after my paralegal training my husband would ask me who was going to get the kids off the bus, prepare dinner, make sure they got their homework done and take care of their after school activities. That has been my job and if I don't do it it doesn't get done. My husband doesn't get home early enough to do this stuff. He helps out when he can and helps out around the house when I need him to so I can't fault him. It just makes it hard for me to anything after 3 pm.
Is this all just more excuses for me? Or it just the reality of my current situation?
I just don't want it to be what is causing my oldest to not finish things. I don't want him to see me not following through and think that it is okay for him not follow through. I love learning new things and I hope he sees that I am learning as I go so that I have options and I am continuing to grow as a person.
So what does this have to do with my personal journey? Well it is an area that I need to look at. Am I holding myself back and if so, then why. I can't move forward when I am keeping myself stuck. I can't use my children as an excuse for not perusing my dreams but I do need to keep within the reality that right now they do come first. I am their mother, it is my job to make sure that they are raised right not raising themselves. I have seen the realities of that in other children.
So here I am, stuck. I will find my direction it is just frustrating that it is taking so much time.
I have decided that I hold myself back by spending too much time on the Internet. I am going to start limiting myself to one hour a day. Let's see how much I can accomplish in the next week with this restriction. I will keep you posted.
Live Laugh Love
I wish that my oldest son had this same drive but he doesn't. He tends to start things but doesn't finish them. They are two great kids but very different children. I know that the oldest needs to break of this pattern of not finishing things. He is still young so I need to help him see why he doesn't finish things that become too challenging so he can work on changing it before it affects his future.
I fall somewhere in between. I finish what I start but I don't always follow up with what I have done. For example my schooling. I have a BA in Sociology. I used that for many years as both a counselor for troubled youth and a mental health worker in a psychiatric unit. Then I also have a certificate in health and fitness, took the real estate course to sell houses, and I am a certified paralegal. I work as an EMT. I completed these classes and did nothing with them. I don't know if I am being to picky with my job fitting around my children's schedule or if I am afraid of failing at a new job. I don't fail very often so I am not very good at it. I am often torn because I would like to go back to work full time but I need to take care of my kids after school stuff. When I would mention a full time job after my paralegal training my husband would ask me who was going to get the kids off the bus, prepare dinner, make sure they got their homework done and take care of their after school activities. That has been my job and if I don't do it it doesn't get done. My husband doesn't get home early enough to do this stuff. He helps out when he can and helps out around the house when I need him to so I can't fault him. It just makes it hard for me to anything after 3 pm.
Is this all just more excuses for me? Or it just the reality of my current situation?
I just don't want it to be what is causing my oldest to not finish things. I don't want him to see me not following through and think that it is okay for him not follow through. I love learning new things and I hope he sees that I am learning as I go so that I have options and I am continuing to grow as a person.
So what does this have to do with my personal journey? Well it is an area that I need to look at. Am I holding myself back and if so, then why. I can't move forward when I am keeping myself stuck. I can't use my children as an excuse for not perusing my dreams but I do need to keep within the reality that right now they do come first. I am their mother, it is my job to make sure that they are raised right not raising themselves. I have seen the realities of that in other children.
So here I am, stuck. I will find my direction it is just frustrating that it is taking so much time.
I have decided that I hold myself back by spending too much time on the Internet. I am going to start limiting myself to one hour a day. Let's see how much I can accomplish in the next week with this restriction. I will keep you posted.
Live Laugh Love
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Christmas and chaos
What do you want for Christmas? That seems to be the question of the day lately. My kids of course have a nice short but expensive list. I noticed that the older they get the more expensive their wants get. I only buy for them on holidays and birthdays so I don't mind getting a couple of these items. If my boys want something in between they save and buy it on their own.
My list is much shorter. I don't want much of anything. A new bag for my camera, a new CD (I love music, listen to it all of the time), and some more K cups, I also need my coffee. I don't need much and I don't want more stuff. Stuff equals clutter and chaos for me. Stuff is the reason why I can't find my Christmas tree skirt right now, or the extra wrapping paper that I know I bought at the end of last year.
Stuff equals clutter and that creates chaos for me that I just don't need anymore. I have been swamped in this chaos for too long already. It gives me an excuse for every time I can't find what I am looking for. It also gives me an excuse to be lazy. I want to be done with excuses. I can't make progress if I am making excuses.
This may not be the best time of year to try to clean out the accumulated clutter but I can make sure that I do not make it worse. If I start little now then I have a better chance of success. Rome was not built in a day and my clutter won't be cleaned out in one either. I can start with one little step at a time on this journey and move forward.
So I don't want just stuff for Christmas, I want only a few items. I will have a hard enough time making room for my boys gifts that Santa may bring. I will be happy with time with loved ones, time for myself, kind words from friends. These are truly the best gifts I could receive.
Now, where did I put that tree skirt? I may just have to buy a new one this year. I hope not, I love the one my husband and I bought together 19 years ago. No, I will have to find it.
Live laugh love.
My list is much shorter. I don't want much of anything. A new bag for my camera, a new CD (I love music, listen to it all of the time), and some more K cups, I also need my coffee. I don't need much and I don't want more stuff. Stuff equals clutter and chaos for me. Stuff is the reason why I can't find my Christmas tree skirt right now, or the extra wrapping paper that I know I bought at the end of last year.
Stuff equals clutter and that creates chaos for me that I just don't need anymore. I have been swamped in this chaos for too long already. It gives me an excuse for every time I can't find what I am looking for. It also gives me an excuse to be lazy. I want to be done with excuses. I can't make progress if I am making excuses.
This may not be the best time of year to try to clean out the accumulated clutter but I can make sure that I do not make it worse. If I start little now then I have a better chance of success. Rome was not built in a day and my clutter won't be cleaned out in one either. I can start with one little step at a time on this journey and move forward.
So I don't want just stuff for Christmas, I want only a few items. I will have a hard enough time making room for my boys gifts that Santa may bring. I will be happy with time with loved ones, time for myself, kind words from friends. These are truly the best gifts I could receive.
Now, where did I put that tree skirt? I may just have to buy a new one this year. I hope not, I love the one my husband and I bought together 19 years ago. No, I will have to find it.
Live laugh love.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Searching for myself
I have been an at home mom for so long that I have come to look at myself as just mom. I have also come to realize that I am miserable with this. I do work one day a week, but it doesn't really fulfill me.
I used to have a career, hobbies, and friends to hang around with. Now I have laundry, cooking, housework and my kids activities and needs to tend to. I have nothing that excites or inspires me. I have started reading books on self fulfillment. Eat Pray Love, The Happiness Project, are just a couple of them. I am looking for answers but seem to be lacking motivation.
I know that I procrastinate. I always have. I believe it is a tactic for avoiding failure and disappointing people. I know that I am no longer living up to my potential.
I always loved to write. I love taking pictures and I would love to travel a little. Writing this blog is me beginning to do what I love while I figure the rest out. This is going to be my journey.
I used to have a career, hobbies, and friends to hang around with. Now I have laundry, cooking, housework and my kids activities and needs to tend to. I have nothing that excites or inspires me. I have started reading books on self fulfillment. Eat Pray Love, The Happiness Project, are just a couple of them. I am looking for answers but seem to be lacking motivation.
I know that I procrastinate. I always have. I believe it is a tactic for avoiding failure and disappointing people. I know that I am no longer living up to my potential.
I always loved to write. I love taking pictures and I would love to travel a little. Writing this blog is me beginning to do what I love while I figure the rest out. This is going to be my journey.
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