I wanted to post a blog a day but I am finding that a bit unreasonable. This weekend was too busy to get here and post. My 10 year old son had his test for black belt on Sunday. This was a 5 hour test for him. I am so proud of him for the hard work and dedication to pursuing this that he showed. He was sick after the first 45 minutes and he didn't quit. He splashed water on his face, rinsed his mouth out and went on to finish the last 4 hours of testing. He told me that he went there to earn his black belt and he wasn't going home without it.
I wish that my oldest son had this same drive but he doesn't. He tends to start things but doesn't finish them. They are two great kids but very different children. I know that the oldest needs to break of this pattern of not finishing things. He is still young so I need to help him see why he doesn't finish things that become too challenging so he can work on changing it before it affects his future.
I fall somewhere in between. I finish what I start but I don't always follow up with what I have done. For example my schooling. I have a BA in Sociology. I used that for many years as both a counselor for troubled youth and a mental health worker in a psychiatric unit. Then I also have a certificate in health and fitness, took the real estate course to sell houses, and I am a certified paralegal. I work as an EMT. I completed these classes and did nothing with them. I don't know if I am being to picky with my job fitting around my children's schedule or if I am afraid of failing at a new job. I don't fail very often so I am not very good at it. I am often torn because I would like to go back to work full time but I need to take care of my kids after school stuff. When I would mention a full time job after my paralegal training my husband would ask me who was going to get the kids off the bus, prepare dinner, make sure they got their homework done and take care of their after school activities. That has been my job and if I don't do it it doesn't get done. My husband doesn't get home early enough to do this stuff. He helps out when he can and helps out around the house when I need him to so I can't fault him. It just makes it hard for me to anything after 3 pm.
Is this all just more excuses for me? Or it just the reality of my current situation?
I just don't want it to be what is causing my oldest to not finish things. I don't want him to see me not following through and think that it is okay for him not follow through. I love learning new things and I hope he sees that I am learning as I go so that I have options and I am continuing to grow as a person.
So what does this have to do with my personal journey? Well it is an area that I need to look at. Am I holding myself back and if so, then why. I can't move forward when I am keeping myself stuck. I can't use my children as an excuse for not perusing my dreams but I do need to keep within the reality that right now they do come first. I am their mother, it is my job to make sure that they are raised right not raising themselves. I have seen the realities of that in other children.
So here I am, stuck. I will find my direction it is just frustrating that it is taking so much time.
I have decided that I hold myself back by spending too much time on the Internet. I am going to start limiting myself to one hour a day. Let's see how much I can accomplish in the next week with this restriction. I will keep you posted.
Live Laugh Love
You've got a good, tenacious attitude and you see where change must happen. It's the getting there that takes discernment of the path, perseverance on the path, and gratitude along the way that will help you fulfill your destiny. Like your blog. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteRegarding posts: I used to think that as well. It was hard to keep up and find time. Then I read a few books on blogging and learned that a blog can be a few sentences and doesn't need to be long.It can be a thought today, a deeper subject tomorrow. Once I realized that, it was easier to post more frequently. Hope that helps! :)
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